One of the purest forms of self-love is listening to your intuition. Ultimately, that intuition or inner knowing knows best. Those unmistakable feelings you get deep inside your gut when you’re walking down a path and suddenly you get the urge to turn left in stead of right - thats your internal compass guiding you. Tapping in to that is one of the most powerful tools you can have.
I’m about to share with you a personal example of what can start to manifest when you ignore that intuition or disregard its signs so buckle up sista!
4 months ago, I moved back to my hometown after living in Abu Dhabi for 2 years. I had all of these goals and plans mapped out and I dove straight in to work and working on said goals and plans. Financially, I wasn't sure how I was going to make all of this happen but I was determined to do it. My first month home was unreal, I was so excited to be home. I was catching up with friends who I hadn't seen in years, I was spending more time with my family than I had in a very long time and I was busy working on my website getting it all ready to launch. I joined a crossfit gym and was training 4-5 times a week as well as working a new job in a gym.
You might be thinking at this point - where is all this going? This all seems pretty exciting and positive so far… The thing is, underneath all of that was my intuition giving me some pretty loud and clear messages. Being the rebel that I sometimes am, I reached for distraction to drown out the calls being made by my intuition to process, slow down, surrender and grieve.
Moving through change is a process and there are beautiful lessons to be learned with each and every step. So long as you do in fact move through each and every step. Change is going to look different for everyone. The way it is processed is also different for everyone, but I think I can say that its universally understood that without a bit of discomfort there is no growth and without growth was there really even change?
I had spent 2 years of my life living in a completely different country with completely different cultures, learning to live differently to how I had been taught, in many ways. I had an epic career opportunity and experienced some life changing events that I know were specific to that place alone. I travelled to a few different places, I made amazing connections with people, built friendships that I know will last a lifetime, experienced so much happiness and also made some huge steps forwards with my own personal growth and development. There were some tough lessons learned within this 2 years that led me to where I am now as well but I will save those for another post other wise this blog post may just turn into my first book.
That is a lot of stuff to take in and process and as funny as it sounds, I needed to mourn certain parts of that chapter as being finished. I feel as though allowing yourself time to process, heal, mourn, reflect - whatever it is you feel you need to do, is extremely important for your own personal growth and also for your health both mentally and physically.
One of the biggest things that brings up unprocessed emotion for me is yoga, so what do you think got pushed to the lower end of the priority scale? It wasn't peanut butter and chocolate. I was consciously making a choice to avoid the discomfort of processing this change because I was otherwise “on a roll”. I didn't want to interfere with my website building, my new job, my social life, my training or any of the “feel good” things going on in my life. The best part about this is that yoga is also the thing that supports me through processing emotion.Go figure.
I’ll let you in on a little secret thats actually not even a secret at all. You can avoid processing change like the plague but sooner or later you’re going to be faced with it again until you step up, with out fear or hesitation and surrender to it.
I had my reality check 3 weeks ago when it all built up to such a point that I felt so much overwhelm in almost every area of my life. I wasn't sleeping properly, I wasn’t nourishing my body with the right foods, I felt stressed, my energy levels were low, I was distracted at work and my training just wasn't feeling good. I lost motivation to write, my central nervous system was shot and my hormones were so severely imbalanced that I realised I haven't had a period the entire 4 months I've been home.
A lot of this could have been prevented if I had of just been gentle with myself from the start, making this transitional phase a lot less stressful on my mind, heart and body. This experience in itself has been a huge lesson for me that your intuition really does know best and if you don’t treat it with respect then a whole lot of shit can go down.
Its easy to get caught up in what you think you should be doing or what others expect of you but what has really stood out to me is that you really just need to do what is right and true for you.
If you truly thrive on going to the gym 6 days a week, working 30 hours a week and enjoying relaxed time on the weekends, having fun with friends then get it girl! If you thrive on watching the sunrise, practicing yoga and walks then get it girl! Whatever it is that feels good and genuinely makes you thrive and aligns with your mind, body and soul then absolutely 100% get it girl! You do you!
I have really had to step it back a few notches in all areas of my life to bring light to what is true for me and to allow myself the space to process what needs processing, to reflect on certain things that I can take lessons from and to tune in to the compass that has done a pretty great job so far of getting me to where I am today.
Love yourself hard and nurture that intuition of yours, because not only is it your internal compass but it is the essence of who you are and that is something never to lose sight of.